Wednesday, December 12, 2012

A Christmas to Remember



“What fun! We’re getting a living Christmas tree,” I told my two wide-eyed children. “We’ll donate it to the church for their landscaping project after the holidays.”
It’s the thought that counts, right? 
At least my husband had that thought—the one that scurries ahead of everything else and prompts a plan of action. He hooked up the horse trailer as the rest of us piled into the pickup.
Thought number two should have struck when the nurseryman loaded the tree into our trailer with a forklift. But it didn’t. The elusive realization didn’t hit until we got home and shoved the tree out of the trailer and into a double-handled, galvanized-steel tub. My husband and I could carry the little 5-foot tree inside, right?
The tree wasn’t the problem. It was the 300-pound dirt ball attached to the bottom that we couldn’t drag over the threshold. So we pushed the tub up against the garage and waited for our neighbor’s high school-aged son and friend to haul it inside for us.
Rocco, our Jack Russell terrier, didn’t wait. He figured any unmarked soil on his turf was fair ground and christened the tree into the family when no one was looking.


Later that wintry Colorado evening, the warmth from our woodstove embraced the tree and its burlap-wrapped root, and Rocco’s anointing permeated the front room.
I dashed down the hall like a reindeer on a mission and returned with a can of aerosol pine-scented spray…
We didn’t have the heart to call the neighbor boy to take the tree back outside, so we doused the dirt and tried to hide the burlap beneath a cheery Christmas tree skirt.
Indeed, that year we had a Christmas to remember—complete with homemade gingerbread houses and frosted sugar cookies, clove-studded oranges and hot mulled cider. And doggie, well, you know. Either we grew accustomed to the terrier bouquet, or our smellers simply stopped working.
 ‘Twas as close to a barn-like, manger-filled Christmas as we’ve ever come. I think Mary and Joseph may have sampled a similar aroma from their hastily-chosen delivery room. Sheep aren’t the most prettily-perfumed animals around.
And yes, it was the thought that counted.
 


For those of you who read this in my guest post on Fay Lamb's blog, thanks for reading again.
Merry Christmas!  

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Where Did Prince Charming Go?


Linda Rondeau

My guest author today, Linda Rondeau, asks the piercing title question and I'm sure you'll enjoy reading her answer. 
 
He opened his Christmas gifts first, then dancing with anticipation handed me my present. The gift bag was securely closed with a ridge of scotch-tape, evidence of his own hand in this artful presentation. I exercised all the pre-opening rituals: gently stroking the outside, carefully shaking it near the ear, and complimenting the packaging, as well as the obligatory, “Thank you, Honey.” I even ventured a few guesses.

“Jewelry?”

“No.”

“Well, judging by the shape, it’s probably not candy.”

“You’re right. It’s not candy.”

“Pajamas! Silk, right?”

“No. It’s not pajamas, but you’re getting closer. Go ahead. Open it.”

In an instant, I popped the row of scotch tape and looked inside the satiny red wrapping bag. I froze in disbelief as I stared at what my husband deemed the perfect gift—A SHOWER MASSAGE! I was thoroughly convinced the romance was more than dead. It was beyond resuscitation. In fact, it was stone cold.

What more should I expect? After all, we’ve been married over twenty-five years. Can romance exist after fifty? 

Yes! Romance needn’t die just because our hair had turned gray and our body dimensions had expanded. Didn’t he see me as attractive anymore?

“For me?” I feigned pleasure.

“Well, it’s really for the both of us. That’s why I spent a little extra.”

Since we bought a video camera as a mutual Christmas present to each other, we set a personal gift limit of $25. He went over the top to $30.

“You shouldn’t have,” I said honestly.

“I know you said you wanted jewelry. Surprised?”

“Oh, yes. I’m speechless!”

At some point over the past couple decades, the Prince Charming I married went through a metamorphosis. So much so, I dreaded the future. Can I really stand twenty-five more years of this? The handsome suitor who used to buy me Russell Stover Chocolates had now emerged an aged athlete peddling Mr. Coffee. When had practicality replaced sentimentality? I wanted to tell Joe DiMaggio to take a hike, find my misplaced fairy godmother, and tell her to bring back Prince Charming.

Storybook romances for the middle aged did not exist. Who was I kidding? God, I prayed silently, help me remember why I’m still married to this man. Are we together because divorce is a sin, or is there something more?

Joe DiMaggio was waiting for my reaction. I muttered a half-hearted, “Gee. Thank you.”   

“Pour yourself another cup of coffee and relax while I get the shower massage ready for you.” He took the monstrosity from the bag; and with his toolbox in hand, bounded up the steps like a schoolboy at recess.

The sounds of contented whistling could be heard down stairs while I stared into my coffee hoping to find some definition of middle-aged wedded bliss. I stewed in my disappointment. “A shower massage. Ump!” I felt like Grumpy while he played the part of Happy.
           
“All set,” he beamed. “You first! After all, it is your present.”

“That it is.” I trudged to the upstairs bathroom, took off my robe, and stepped into the wide spread spray. To my pleasant surprise, the steamy mist enveloped my senses. I felt as if I had just entered a sauna.

Well, now. This is nice. I took the showerhead in hand and experimented with the dial. Suddenly, reams of pulsating gushes hit my arthritic joints. I let my mind drift, imagining I was under a waterfall in Tahiti. Hey, I thought. This is not bad. Not bad at all.

Maybe he wasn’t so far off the mark after all, I mused.

When there was no more hot water, I reluctantly turned the shower off, towel-dried, put on my bathrobe, and wandered downstairs.

Joe DiMaggio was anxiously awaiting the umpire’s verdict. “Well?” He looked like an innocent child who had just given his mother a wilted dandelion, waiting for a hug of gratitude.

“It’s out of the ball park, Slugger. A grand slam homerun.” 

He smiled his cute little boy smile. Behind his youthful grin, I saw the beam of love in his eyes. I recognized the faded but familiar royalty with whom I fell in love with so many years ago. Joltin’ Joe had not completely taken over.

I lifted my heart toward Heaven. Thank you for my mate, Lord. Prince Charming still lived inside that paunchy but adorable man, and he knew exactly what this tired, achy body needed.

Many waters cannot quench love: rivers cannot wash it away (Song of songs 8:7a). 

***


Linda Wood Rondeau’s highly successful Christmas Adirondack romance, It Really IS a Wonderful Life, is available through Amazon.com, published by Lighthouse of the Carolinas. Her first devotional book, I Prayed for Patience/God Gave Me Children is due for release on or about December 10 by Trestle Press/Helping Hands.   

Winner of the 2012 Selah Award for best first novel (The Other Side of Darkness/Harbourlight), Linda writes stories of redemption and God’s mercies. Walk with her unforgettable characters as they journey paths not unlike our own. Her second book, America II: The Reformation, Trestle Press, the first in a dystopian trilogy, is a futuristic political thriller now available in e-book on Amazon.com and  Kobo.  Also with Trestle Press is her serial story, Rains of Terror which can be found on Amazon.Com., Barnes and Noble, and Kobo or wherever e-books are sold. After a long career in human services, mother of three and wife of one very patient man, Linda now resides in Florida where she is active in her church and community. Visit her web site at www.lindarondeau.com. 

 

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Gone Fishin'



A breath, a blink, a moment outside of time is all that separates us from the world beyond our physical grasp.
Our friend Charlie Brown took that step Thursday morning. Cancer stripped him of the joys of this world, so the Lord took his hand and welcomed him over. I imagine they’re fly fishing in the River of Life, or so I’d like to think.
Cast one for us, Charlie, and save us a spot on the riverbank.